I really hate how complicated software can be. For example, for the past 45 minutes I have been trying to link Microsoft Word to my Tumblr, as I know it can link to Wordpress or pretty much any other Blog. Tumblr, unfortunately, like to be set apart from the rest and do not enable a connection to Word. This irritates me. Why would it not connect to Word? It’s a Blog isn’t it? You can write on it? Why would you not enable word processing software to connect to a website where you can write words?!?! On top of this faffing about I had plans to do something other than get irritated with Tumblr 45 minutes ago, and now I can’t remember what that was. I blame Tumblr for this.
When I decide I am going to do something I always feel that I have to finish before I can move on to the next thing, even if it’s not working. If it isn’t working I will keep trying until I end up screaming at whatever is foolish enough to prevent my success. This never fails to alarm poor Hopo who always seems to assume I’m shouting at him. What he never seems to realise is that if he asks me if I’m “alright” when it is blatantly obvious that I am not, then I am going to redirect my screaming at the more irritating thing. I mean, look at it from my perspective; as long as I’m still getting my frustration out I’m happy as Larry. I don’t really care who or what I’m directing it at, provided I feel less annoyed by the end of it.
This is often where Hopo makes his fatal mistake. In fact, this is The Mistake.
He takes offence. Despite repeatedly telling him that if I’m swearing for half an hour at a TV screen because my Wii won’t connect to it, or at my laptop because it has decided that the internet doesn’t exist or at my bike because it thinks it’s ok for the chain to slip every time I pedal, I’m not actually calling him all those names; I’m calling the TV/laptop/bike names, he still gets riled up as if I’m calling HIM names. This, of course, only serves to irritate me more, as now, not only can I not fix the problem, but someone is irritated with me for being irritated.
Being dyspraxic, I often find I can’t explain what the problem is. Or why I’m irritated. I get irritated to the point where I am no longer capable of using words. Problems end up being explained as, “The THING won’t go in the BLOODY F**KING THING!” which helps no one. Least of all poor Hopo, who at this point thinks I am blaming him for my ineptitude, and also doesn’t know what is wrong and is DESPERATELY trying to decode my messages with a look of fear and panic on his face. He is simultaneously trying to work out if he has a greater chance of survival by running away or blaming someone else. Thing is, I may as well be sending him smoke signals while he has a blindfold on.
I have just proved this fact by telling him that I am writing a Blog telling everyone that they should feel sorry for him because he has to interpret my smoke signals while he is wearing a blindfold and he looked at me and said “Sometimes, you just shouldn’t talk. I do wish you wouldn’t drivel.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
The long and short of it is that I am irritated with myself, and poor Hopo thinks I am irritated with him, so he gets irritated with me so I get irritated with him. This is irritating; and so the spiral into hatred and doom continues. I have thought about the solution to this problem for a long time now and I think the only way to prevent this from happening is if I just don’t do anything EVER. Case: Solved.